AMALIN

I originally posted this on July 18, 2007. Now re-posted!

2009-07-18T01:20:30Z

I wasn't going to post this until after DH had been distributed to the masses, but Reena wanted it now. Look, I'm really torn up about the end of Harry Potter in general, and the canon and fandom I love, and H/D is really just a small piece of it, but I've already gone into a fit with Reena over and over again about how I can't bear all of this ending. So this bit is just about H/D. It's not all I care about, by far, it's just . . . something I wanted to say.

You’re not over, not to me. It's not denial or canon-hate or revisionist reading. I'm just refusing to forget these things. I’m just choosing to believe that it’s not over for the two of you, not really, that it won't ever be that easy.

This is us, Potter. We’ll never be quits. Never.

Because I know in my heart that somewhere, Ron is clearing the windows of the Great Hall, and you’re sitting together at the staff table with no telling what the future will hold. You’re meeting tonight on the fifth floor of the Astronomy Tower. You’re in love in New York at Christmastime; you’re having fight-sex on the Quidditch field. You’re kissing in the Shrieking Shack, and saying, ‘I want to learn the words,’ and standing in the House of Black looking at the tapestry together because you’re free, and free to choose each other.

You’re watching each other play baseball. You’re wearing leather pants. Harry, you’re blasting a hole in the wall so Draco can see your bed from the couch. Draco, you’re standing in the Great Hall reading out loud. You’re both lying in your bed from Florence, staring up at the enchanted ceiling, feeling like you’re swimming in your own private lake. You’re dancing slowly in a storeroom, trying not to kiss. You’re writing epic poetry. You’re kissing each other in the halls while Hogwarts floods. You’re kissing for the first time in a passage back from Hogsmeade. You’re lying in a boat on the lake with a nose-biting teacup. You’re getting married. You are married. You’re sitting companionably at a Muggle bar because neither of you can stand the Wizarding World post-war. You’re playing Quidditch together in an alternate universe. You're telling each other at breakfast, and on the train, and at the station.

I'll see you on 31 July, Draco.

See you then, Unscarhead.

You’re falling asleep together. Harry, you’ve sent Draco a Falmouth Falcons flag. Draco, you’ve given him a ring with amethysts and emerald. You’re both at 4 Privet Drive. You’re wanking in a Hogwarts bathroom. You’re racing for the Snitch. You’re racing in a getaway car. You’re Auror partners. You're in San Francisco. You’re drinking mai tais or Butterbooze or sad pints in empty bars. You’re wandering around Hogwarts under the Invisibility Cloak. You’re both dead but you’re together in your portraits. You’re having kinky sex with Cho when you really just want each other. You’re sneaking around behind your friends’ backs. You have get togethers with your friends every week and watch television. You’re in love. You love each other. You’re the best friend the other’s ever had.

You're dancing to Ravel. You're wearing handcuffs. You're going cow tipping on your first date. You're paired together in Potions. You're working on Astronomy at Dogear Wryde. One of you is part-Veela. You're fighting over Potter's letter. You're bound together by magic. You're learning about golf. You're waking up together and making out behind a Muggle gay bar and you're having coffin!sex and Veela!sex and oral sex in the Slytherin common room with the help of pixie dust. You're flying and Potter's a Snidget. You're sneering at each other. You're holding hands. You're forever talking about meeting in the robe shop and the scorned handshake.

You're a math equation. You're practicing Defense together. You're learning about the Dark Arts. You're riding the same broomstick. You're chatting online. You're having sex to save the world. You don't do well without each other.

It's all there, all of this, as long as we remember it. And I'm not letting go.

People wanted to know what was referenced, so here's what I consciously talked about: Queen of Hearts, Transfigurations, Irresistible Poison, Fairytale of New York, Love Under Will, Underwater Light, Abide the Sleeper, The Properties of Being Lost, After the Flood, The Reader, Orpheus in Motion, Deux Ex Machina, Les Oiseax, Red, Pop Goes The Weasel trilogy, Nocturne Alley, Draco Malfoy and the Heart of Slytherin, H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x), Four Letter Words, Snitch!, Left My Heart, the Draco Trilogy, Still Life, Sodomite, Drop Dead Gorgeous, And I Get By, Friend Like Me, Bolero, How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back, Written, Protective Bonds, That Way Lies Camelot, Dancing Queen, Atrophy, Never Mind The Bollocks It's Draco/Harry (Shake Your Groove Thing), An Obscene Obsession, The Flight of the Draco Malfoy, Butter and Pigtails, Quality of Mercy, Artful Facade, Extracurricular, the Eros Affair marriage challenge, and a ridiculous number of fics in which they fight crime, and/or one of them is part-Veela, and/or one of them is wearing leather pants, and/or they fight on the Quidditch pitch, and/or they're partners in Potions, and/or they rehash their history, and/or they're in love.

-------

Comment from just_harry:
I don't know how you know about the Astronomy, but I guess it's okay. Thanks.

Comment from potterstinks:
As you might recall, people do tend to take notice of everything I do. Keep up, Potter.

NOT NEARLY COMPLETE LIST OF FICS MENTIONED ON AJA'S PARTY POST.

2009-07-17T17:32:06Z

Warning: some of these are eternal WiPs. This is not a comprehensive H/D rec list, nor is it my personal rec list. It's a companion piece to Aja's H/D revival post! I'm also doing this really fast so if you have better links for me (ones with more chapters) or if I missed a fic, let me know.

Edit: really should have added this yesterday & stupidly forgot: if you're an author and want your wayback links or anything else deleted off this list, sorry and please just let me know.

Also check the fabulous list of hd_nostalgia on delicious!

AbbyCadabra's Three-Part Wildfire Series
AbbyCadabra's Paris

Abra's It's All About Subterfuge

addictedkitten/Sara's Control
addictedkitten/Sara's BDSM: A Love Story

Aidan Lynch's Unthinkable Thoughts

Aja's Love Under Will
Aja's Atrophy
Aja's Commencement
Aja's The Properties of Being Lost and sequel The Properties of Voyeurism
Aja's Trade
Aja's Kissing Harry Potter
Aja's The Reader

Al/AlexMalfoy's Snitch!
Al/AlexMalfoy's Fairytale Of New York

alaana_fair's Desperately Seeking Someone

ali_wildgoose's Sins of the Father

Allegra's All Bets Are Off

amalin/monochromal/loftily's (lol) Still Life (remixed as Walking Sideways by pogrebin)
amalin/monochromal/loftily's Two Lost Souls (I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M FUCKING LINKING THIS, UGH IT WAS 2002 OKAY)

amanuensis's Rituals and Traditions

Anna Fugazzi's Bond

Antenora's Rites of Passage
Antenora's The Losing Side

Are's Berlin, In The Year Of Our Lord

Ari Munami's Seamus Is Seamus and You Are Yourself
Ari Munami's The Lightning Letters

Aspen's Let It Snow & sequel Still Goodbyeing (see privetdrive)
Aspen's Quicksilver (see privetdrive)
Aspen's Daisychain!Draco (see privetdrive)

Audrey Thurston Hirsch's A Brief Interval Before The Resumption of Play (1 2 3 4 5 6 7)
Audrey Thurston Hirsch's Speak, Desire (try this?)

augustus's Best Enemies

BaronNomaw's Seeker to Seeker + Power Play

Bec's H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)

Beren's Gold Tinted Spectacles

Blue's Just This

blythely's Corridors of Power

Bracken's The Playing Field (1 2 3) and sequel Rematch (1 2 3 4 5 6 7)

breed's Leather Trousers fic
breed's Four Letter Words
breed's Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys
breed's Red

Calanthe's Big Dick, Come Quick

Calico and Julad's Lustre

Cassandra Claire's A Season In Hell and sequel After The Flood
Cassandra Claire's Draco Trilogy

Cedar's Saison d'Être

cest_what/blindmouse's The If Sieve

Cinnamon's Beneath You
Cinnamon's Beautiful World
Cinnamon's Windfallen

CorvetteClaire's Thicker Than Blood

dahlia's The Silver Chain (plus Power Play and The Ebony Box)

Duinn Fionn/geoviki's Never Mind The Bollocks, It's Draco/Harry (Shake Your Groove Thing)
Duinn Fionn/geoviki's A Thousand Beautiful Things + Delicate Sound of Thunder
Duinn Fionn/geoviki's The Waters of March

Dale's Space Oddity

durendal's How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back

emmagrant01's Left My Heart and sequel Surrender the Grey

FayJay's Invisible To See

fearlessdiva's Tissue of Silver

femmequixotic's Kiss A Boy In London Town

Frances Potter's Resolution

frizzy's Magnetic Attraction

furiosity's fics in general

furiosity and imadra_blue's Abide The Sleeper

Goblin Cat KC's Oath Breaker

Halrloprillalar's Letters to a Young Gentleman
Halrloprillalar's Sides

IamtheLizardQueen's Welcome to the Real World

ishuca's A Plague of Legends (does anyone have a finished version? I could have sworn it was finished)

Ivy's Blue Vase
Ivy's Sodomite
Ivy's The Cicatrix Cycle (other Origins link)

Ivy's and Libertine's in dialogia

jennavere's The Veela Enigma
jennavere's Intrepid Teenage Hero
jennavere's Dragon Tamer

jitterbug's An Obscene Obsession

kat99999's Queer and There

kickflaw's Ice Cream Quickie

LadyVader's Friend Like Me
LadyVader's Matinee

Lasair's Veela Magic

Lightning on the Wave's Sacrifices Arc

Mad Martha's The Lodger

magpie's Into The Woods

mahaliem's A Slytherin in Gryffindor Clothing

maxine_chan's Starts With A Spin

Maya's Underwater Light, If You've A Ready Mind, Your Every Wish, Dark Side of Light, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Dancing Queen, Quality of Mercy, etc. (offline)

mijan/PhoenixSong's Eclipse

Mirabella's The Shadow of His Wings
Mirabella's A Consummation Devoutly To Be Wished

Naadi's Checkmate

Nancy's Malfoy, P.I.

Um . . . nocturne_alley . . .

nopejr's Creevey At Large

novembersnow's Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Odile's Bend Me

Olivia Lupin's plastercast smutlet
Olivia Lupin's Full Spectrum
Olivia Lupin's Drawn
Olivia Lupin's Mutual Interest

Olympia's The Tale of the Shining Prince, A Thousand Nights and One, The Simple Things, and Orpheus In Motion

Penelope-Z's Your Morpheus
Penelope-Z's The Untold Want
Penelope-Z's Train in vain

Penguin's Dragonweed and sequel Side By Side in Orbit
Penguin's Of Snow and Dark Water

penknife's Practicing for the Ballet

PhatGirl/Stacey's Tower With A View

pir8fancier's Lettered

plu's Draco In Darkness

pottyweepotter's A Bedroom, During Summer Months

pushdragon's Nocturne for Quill and Ink
pushdragon's The Astronaut Phase

Resonant's Transfigurations

rhoddlet's Cicadas

Rhysenn's Irresistible Poison
Rhysenn's Raincoat!Draco

r i d d l e

ryokoblue's Icarus Rising

sabershadowkat's Draco Malfoy and the Heart of Slytherin

Sadie Dragonfire's Protective Bonds

Sansa's On The Last Day of Our World

scoradh and cynicalpirate's Queen of Hearts
scoradh and cynicalpirate's That Way Lies Camelot

scrtkpr's Arctic Fox

shaggirl's Ouroboros

shalott's Weather series and everything else

silviakundera's And I Get By
silviakundera's Deus Ex Machina
silviakundera's Butter and Pigtails
silviakundera's Double Dare
silverkundera's Parselmouth
(and everything else)

Stylophile's Tempus Fugit

Sky Sorceress's Artful Facade

slytherlynx's Blue Water

Teazel's But not for love

thessamunga's You've Got Nothing, Harry Potter

tkp's Now The Shining Sun Is Up

Trin's Les Oiseaux

two_if_by_sea's if wishes were fishes

VCCV's Corruptela Vox

V.G.Marks' Oscillate Wildly

velvetblood_fic's Sex Magic

Violet Beck's Quelle Chance and follow-ups Malchance and De Savoir

wax jism's Second of our Reign

wintermoon2's Per Solum Lacuna

Yahtzee's Masked

Zahra's fic in general

ZS's Written
ZS's Flight of the Draco Malfoy
ZS's fic in general

And if a comprehensive fandom primer is actually what you're looking for, your best bet is probably gossymer's post right here.

And then there's Sijan's Flobbertongue. Sorry, I could only find The Restricted Section version. BUT WHY DO YOU WANT TO RELIVE THAT ANYWAY?

only a full house gonna make it through

2008-06-07T13:18:19Z

Almost six years ago—just over five years and eleven months, to be exact—I posted "Absence". I was amalin back then, too, but a different one. And I was in fandom before that, but I view that as the true beginning, and while I might write things after this, I view this as the end.

I can't explain why, but maybe you'll get it: "Reparo" feels like the ending to the story "Absence" started. It isn't the same story, but in my mind, they're an arc, and this is where that arc stops.

I went from amalin to monochromal to cercaluna to loftily to treeswing back to amalin, and here I am, and it's been good, it really has. And now I am leaving and I feel good about that. As I said once before (or a thousand times), thanks for all the years and all the love. :-*